During one of my trips to New York, I really wanted to walk the High Line. In the many times I’ve been to the city I had never taken the opportunity to do it, and I was adamant I would complete it on this particular trip. There was only one day that I was able to do this and unfortunately it was raining…hard.
When I awoke, and looked out of the window at the torrential rain, this thought flashed across my mind: “…stay in bed! It’s too cold outside. It’s wet. It’s your only day off, don’t spend it drenched…blah blah blah.”
Simply put, I wanted to walk the High Line BUT it was raining.
I wanted to walk the High Line BUT it was raining.
When you choose to frame language in this way, it has a powerful way of preventing you from taking opportunities. You actually talk yourself out of doing something that you know would be good for you. We might apply a similar thought pattern to going to the gym: “I need to go to the gym BUT I’m tired” and before you know it, you’ve skipped the gym 5 days running (and probably eaten extra chocolate…just for good measure)
Using the BUT flip is a simple and quick technique that encourages you to flip the pre and post ‘but’ statements around.
For example, rather than saying “I want to walk the High Line BUT it’s raining” you flip it to “It’s raining BUT I want to walk the High Line”. Instantly this creates a different thought and feeling towards the rain. Rather than it being a problem, it becomes an opportunity to think of a solution or just do the thing you want to do.
It’s raining BUT I want to walk the High Line
When I chose to use the but flip, it got me excited that I was going to walk the High Line in the rain. It was a stunning walk and it rained quite a lot of the way, but not the entire time and when it did, I didn’t mind because I had consciously made a choice to walk it in the rain. It was my choice, my responsibility and my fabulous walk.
What ‘but’ am I currently using to talk myself out of taking action?
What changes when I flip the two statements around?
What action becomes available to me when I put what I want after the ‘but’?
Next time you find yourself using the BUT to talk yourself out of taking action, I challenge you to take responsibility of your mind management and use the BUT flip to drive action.